


Toast is my Middle Name

by Pippythewriter, We_had_a_bonding_moment (Pippythewriter)



Series: Ohana: Off The Rails [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Author is surprisingly not sleep-deprived, Gen, Hot Mess Express™, How do I even tag?, Humor, Keith (Voltron) is So Done, Matt Holt & Shiro Friendship, Shiro (Voltron) Needs a Break, Shiro (Voltron) is a Mess, Shiro (Voltron)-centric, Shiro and Matt as team Dumpsterfire, The Matt Factor™, Unless you know what it's like to fight a toaster and lose, We're doing a bottle episode y'all, feat. - Freeform, forks and toasters don't mix, sorry it's so short!, this time, verging on crack, yay me i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25214329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pippythewriter/pseuds/Pippythewriter, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pippythewriter/pseuds/We_had_a_bonding_moment
Summary: Shiro has a day off. Shenanigans ensue.
Relationships: Matt Holt & Shiro
Series: Ohana: Off The Rails [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115330
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	Toast is my Middle Name

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, back with the next installment of Ohana. The title of this story is actually just a reference to my Mom and I having Lance say he's toast so many times that we started saying that was his middle name. I guess it's probably funnier if you know the context, but whatever. Lance is not involved in this story, but toast is. This story is brought to you by a random piece of dialogue my mom came up with. "How'd your hair catch on fire?" " I wanted to see how... Toasty, the toast can get. Turns out pretty toasty.", and here we are. Hope y'all enjoy :)

It's seven A.M. and Shiro is trying desperately to fall back asleep. He has the day off for once, and he had been planning to take advantage of it. A plan that's currently being thwarted mercilessly. _The_ one time _I can sleep in and my body decides that it's perfectly fine with getting up early. Of course._ Shiro thinks to himself sarcastically. He continues to stubbornly lie in bed for another half hour before throwing in the towel. He sits up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and sighs, leveraging himself off the bed. He starts to reach for his prosthetic, but thinks better of it. _Might as well take a nice long shower if I'm not going back to bed._ He decides, and gets everything he needs to take one, and heads to the bathroom.

The shower is nice, amazing even, and after he gets dressed and checks the time he's happy to see that he managed to kill an hour. Don't get him wrong, having a day off is great, but he hates how quiet the apartment is without Keith there. He goes out to the living room.

Shiro sits down on the couch and turns on the TV, and realizes that he never got to putting on his prosthetic. _Eh, it's not like I need it for anything right this second. No reason to get up and go it. Besides, the thing's been irritating my shoulder anyway._ He ends up leaving the TV on some morning talk show, not particularly interested in it, but it'll do. He must've dozed off at some point, he wakes up disoriented and checks the time, seeing that it's already noon. He lets out a sigh and turns off the TV. He starts to get up off the couch and almost loses his balance before he remembers his prosthetic is in the other room, again. _What is up with me today? I guess it's a good thing I didn't have to go work, this_ really _wouldn't be good if I was there right now._ He heads to his room before he forgets again.

The prosthetic is where he left it the night before. He picks it up and clumsily attaches it, still disoriented from his unexpected nap. He sits on his bed for a minute, getting his bearings. His stomach growls. _Yeah, I should probably have some breakfast. Or is it lunch, at this point? Whatever it is._ He plods back to the kitchen.

Shiro opens the fridge, considering his options. _Too many for when I'm_ this _tired. Okay, narrow it down to the things you can actually make. That leaves toast. Maybe._ He ponders, wondering if it's worth the risk of setting the house on fire (he _really_ doesn't have the best track record with cooking) and shrugs, figuring that as long as he uses the toaster it'll be fine. Fortunately for him, he likes his toast burnt, a fact that horrifies Keith to no end. _You can just take your toast judgement somewhere else otouto, at least_ I _don't make hot chocolate with water and_ one _packet of mix like_ some _people. I... really need to eat something. I'm getting riled up about Keith judging me for how I like my toast when he's not here._ He gets out two slices of bread and pops them in the toaster. He hums to himself, starting some coffee while it toasts. It pops up and he grabs it out the toaster, instantly disappointed. It's barely even brown. He turns the heat up on the toaster and pops it back in, waiting impatiently. It pops up again and once again he's disappointed. _Hmm, I wonder how burnt I can actually get this in the toaster. Should I switch to the oven? No, that's a terrible idea after what happened last time. I guess I'll just have to see how, 'toasty' the toast can get in the toaster._ Shiro snickers to himself at the joke and pops it in once again. The coffee's nearly done by the time it pops up again. Shiro is getting mad at the toaster now, _this is getting ridiculous! (sighs) One more time._ He pops it back in and the coffee is done. He dumps what Keith would call an 'inhuman' amount of sugar in his coffee, trying to remember where he hid the last of the cow's milk. After the infamous 'milk incident' he was _not_ about to have any dairy products in the house anymore. But he wasn't going to throw out what was already there either, so he hid it. Finally, he finds it behind the yoghurt (which he hadn't bothered hiding because Keith _hates_ yoghurt), and is glad to see that there's just enough left for his coffee. He finishes making his cup the way he likes it (he can _feel_ his brother's disapproval even though he's nowhere near here, but he doesn't care at this point), just in time for the toast to pop up again. _Here goes nothing (what is it about alone time that makes me so dramatic? Is this how Matt feels all the time?). Huh, that's weird._ The toast wasn't budging from the toaster. He tries to force it out but that just makes a piece break off. He struggles with the toast for a few minutes before giving up, shoulders slumping in defeat. _This isn't working, there's got to be something I can do. Maybe..._ He shrugs, figuring it's worth a shot (it really **really** isn't, **_please don't try this at home!_** ). He gets a fork out of the silverware drawer and gets to work. He manages to work the fork in between the toaster and the toast and gets a jolt, stumbling back. There's a crackling noise and a spark that are Shiro's only warning before the thing catches fire. _Crap!_ His concentration and then panic are probably the reason he doesn't hear someone picking the lock to the front door.

"You know, it's rude not to answer your door when you're- Whoa!" Matt exclaims as he takes in the scene in front of him. Thinking quickly, Matt rushes to the cabinet underneath the sink and grabs the fire extinguisher, making quick work of the fire. After it's out he levels Shiro with an appraising look. "You stick a fork in your toaster?" Shiro nods, dazed and Matt smacks his head with a towel.

"Hey! What'd you do that for?!" Shiro exclaims.

"You're hair was on fire, it isn't now." Matt answers with a shrug. Shiro eyes him suspiciously. "I'm guessing you still haven't eaten yet. I'll make something." Shiro opens his mouth to protest but Matt waves him off. "Don't worry about it, Mom taught me everything I know." Shiro sighs, but smiles gratefully anyway. Matt has a mischievous smirk on his face. "Besides, we can't have you burning the complex down can we?" Matt teases and Shiro smacks his shoulder playfully. Matt laughs, already going through the food. Shiro is annoyed but can't really find room to argue, and sits at the table.

By the time they're both sitting on the couch, enjoying what Shiro admits are amazing pancakes (gluten free, evidently Matt's allergic, something about celiac disease? Where he found the ingredients for gluten free pancakes in their apartment Shiro will never know), Keith gets home from school. He stops dead in the doorway to the apartment, taking in the scene before him. Shiro is bracing himself for Keith's reaction, knowing how Keith feels about people being in their apartment unexpectedly (or at all). To his surprise Keith just looks confused.

"Shiro, how did your hair catch on fire?" Keith asks. _Huh, I guess Matt wasn't kidding when he said that earlier._

"I wanted to see how... Toasty, the toast can get." Matt snorts and nearly chokes on his pancakes. Keith levels him with an unimpressed look. "Turns out pretty toasty."

"You stuck a fork in the toaster again, didn't you?" Keith asks knowingly.

"... Maybe." Shiro replies. Keith can't be too mad at him, if the slight upturn of his lips is anything to go by. Matt takes a big bite of his pancakes, figuring Keith's response isn't going to make him laugh. He regrets that decision.

"So I guess the toaster is... Toast?" Keith grins, and Matt _does_ choke on his pancakes this time from laughing so hard. He finally manages to dislodge the pancake, glaring at Keith half-heartedly as he coughs. "But we don't have a functioning toaster anymore?" Shiro shakes his head mournfully and Keith groans, banging his head against the wall a few times. This is when Matt decides to chime in.

"You know, you can make toast in the ove-"

" _NO!"_ Shiro and Keith both shout. Just another day at the Shirogane-Kogane residence.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much reading! For returning readers, you guys are awesome and your support means the world to me. For new readers, thanks again for reading and hope you enjoy this series :)  
> Did you enjoy this fic? Do you want to read more? Then please stay for for future installments in the 'Ohana' series. :)  
> Feel like you can't wait for more? Look no further, I may not have written the next part yet, but I have a personal mountain of fic recommendations.
> 
> For those of you who are reading for the OG garrison trio being their hot mess doofus selves, I highly recommend Spaghetti Regretti by platonicharmonics, to this day it holds up as one of the funniest og garrison trio fics I've ever read, and it's just a great fic if you just want to laugh at something.  
> Didn't find what you're looking for? Feel free to ask in the comments, or just raid my bookmarks. I don't mind :) (I know it's only one this time, but for something this short I didn't really think it needed more than one *shrugs*)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the fic! It was really fun to write. Kudos and comments make my day, by now you know the drill.  
> Have a great day! :)


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